Voting Station

William Heirens

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Murderer (Alleged)

The Resume

    (October 15, 1928-March 5, 2012)
    Born in Evanston, Illinois
    Charged with the Chicago murders of two women and the dismemberment of a six-year-old girl between June 5, 1945 and January 7, 1946
    Nicknamed The Lipstick Killer for the message scrawled in lipstick on the wall of his second victim stating 'For heavens [sic] sake catch me before I kill more I cannot control myself.'
    Captured after a burglary by a cop who hit him on the head with a flowerpot (June 26, 1946)
    In a plea bargain confessed to killing the three to avoid the electric chair (August 7, 1946)
    Sentenced to three life terms with the possibility of parole (September 5, 1946)
    Believed to be the world's longest serving prisoner at the time of his death

Why he might be annoying:

    Though a gifted student he turned to shoplifting and burglary to find pleasure and escape his parents squabbling.
    He never tried to fence the loot he stole because he was interested in the trill it brought, not the value of the stolen items.
    He excelled during two stints at reform school, but each time he was sent home, he took up stealing again.
    He had a stolen gun on him and pointed it at one cop when he was overpowered and arrested in June 1946.
    As public outcry for a culprit to blame the murders on became more fevered, the Illinois State's Attorney charged him after interviewing more than 800 suspects and paying more than $20,000 to an innocent janitor beaten when he refused to 'confess.'
    He refused to implicate himself with media present to piss off the state's attorney and his court appointed lawyers.
    He tried to hang himself the morning before his sentencing.
    After 61 years behind bars (an Illinois record for incarceration) he went before a parole board and was told, ' God will forgive you, but the state won't' and voted 14-0 against (June 26, 2007).

Why he might not be annoying:

    He was not allowed to see his parents until four days after he was charged.
    He was not given food or water for six days after his arrest.
    He was beaten and interrogated by cops for six days without legal council (this was before Miranda laws were in effect).
    A cop 'questioning' him punched him in the nuts to the point he nearly puked.
    While in the hospital for his head wound, he was unknowingly given truth serum.
    He was given a spinal tap without anesthesia, and in severe pain strapped to a lie detector, where it was determined he couldn't answer question because of the pain.
    When he was finally able to take the test the results were 'inconclusive.'
    His handwriting was never officially linked to the lipstick scrawl or a ransom note left at the scene of the six-year-old's abduction.
    To this day he states that the media had already convicted him and he signed the confession 'to save my life.'
    The daughter of the first victim never believed him to be her mother's murderer.
    He has been a model prisoner and in 1972 became the first Illinois inmate to receive a college degree.
    His diabetes has swollen his legs, necessitating a wheelchair, as well as rendering him near blind.

Credit: Scar Tactics


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    In 2023, Out of 8 Votes: 75.00% Annoying
    In 2022, Out of 3 Votes: 66.67% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 60 Votes: 48.33% Annoying
    In 2020, Out of 5 Votes: 80.0% Annoying
    In 2019, Out of 9 Votes: 33.33% Annoying
    In 2018, Out of 9 Votes: 33.33% Annoying
    In 2017, Out of 14 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2016, Out of 6 Votes: 66.67% Annoying
    In 2015, Out of 13 Votes: 53.85% Annoying
    In 2014, Out of 14 Votes: 57.14% Annoying
    In 2013, Out of 15 Votes: 60.0% Annoying
    In 2012, Out of 66 Votes: 78.79% Annoying
    In 2011, Out of 13 Votes: 53.85% Annoying
    In 2010, Out of 25 Votes: 64.00% Annoying
    In 2009, Out of 29 Votes: 41.38% Annoying
    In 2008, Out of 102 Votes: 74.51% Annoying